Disclaimer: This article is intended for satirical purposes and does not offer financial advice. Market movements are complex and influenced by numerous factors.Ah, Friday, September 26, 2025. A day that began with the usual market jitters, a fresh inflation report, and the ever-present hum of global commerce. Then, like a tweet from yesteryear, came the pronouncements from former President Donald Trump, delivered, naturally, via his preferred digital megaphone, Truth Social. In a move that surprised absolu ...